Two weeks ago I celebrated another birthday… this one putting me at the big 55. To celebrate, I enjoyed a shopping date with my daughter and splurged on pizza and cupcakes for dinner. It was a great day!

But stepping into 55 also invited me into some deep thinking… pondering the years gone by and the ones still ahead…

That pondering brought many thoughts, but one thing is for certain, I realized now that I’m 55, I care more now, than ever before.

That may sound surprising, because when someone hits their fifties it often sounds more like this, “50 and don’t care” meaning “Now that I’m 50,  I’m going to do what I want and really not care what anyone thinks about it.” 

Over the years I’ve heard more than a few people express that, and it was pretty obvious they meant it.  And when I arrived at 50, I also considered that kind of attitude for myself, and even tried it on a few times.  But now that I am halfway through these years that begin with the number 5, I’ve decided not caring doesn’t fit me well at all... because I do care, in fact, I care very much. 

First, I really care about what God thinks… See the older I have gotten, the more tenderhearted I am towards God’s view of me.  Generally speaking, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t care about pleasing Him, but in hindsight I see that I also cared about pleasing myself and others ways more. 

Now I am aware that any right standing I have with God is only possible through the sacrifice of Christ, and I am so grateful for that gift.  But as I grow in age, more and more my hearts affection is tied to pleasing God and I ‘m just not at peace when things seem otherwise.  Now that I’m 55, my heart has expanded with a desire to know, I mean really know that I am a blessing to my Heavenly Father. 

Perhaps it’s that eternity is getting a little closer. Or perhaps it’s that my knowledge of the Lord has grown, or that with all these years I have greater perspective of what truly matters and what truly doesn’t. Not really sure, I just know that when my God thinks of me, I want Him to say, “O that Sharon, she is such a blessing in my kingdom.”

This month I am meditating on Psalm 103 which begins, “Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me bless His holy name.”  Last night as I was praying through a part of the chapter, I thought about the times I speak of my children as being a blessing to me.  And then I thought to myself, yes Lord, that is how I want You to think of me… as a blessing to You!

I also care very much about my marriage…  Marvin turned 55 six months before me, but in reality, in many ways he has always been a few steps out in front. One of those ways is in how he cares about us.

This year we celebrated 33 years of marriage, for which I am very grateful. We have a strong marriage; we love one another deeply, enjoy being together and we’ve learned how to best cheer one another on and celebrate each other.  I am keenly aware that not all marriages are like that…and while ours has certainly had its struggles, I am so grateful for what we have built together.

But you know how they say that one person usually loves more… well that would have been Marvin.  When things were hard, I was usually the one willing to check out or to turn off my heart to caring.  But not Marvin, he has loved us deep and well… even through the ugly. And I’ve been the one more prone to get distracted by other demands of life and put them before us. But not Marvin, he has always had us at the top of his list.

But now that I’m 55, I am catching up to him, and it feels good.  I care about us more, love him more deeply, and cherish our moments together more as a couple.  Here is to many years ahead of being married to my amazing husband!

I’ve always cared about my children… They’ve had my heart since day 1. In their childhood days that care was mostly expressed through all the mom tasks I carried out day after day, but the older I get, my heart is expanding for my daughter and son and now his soon-to-be wife in ways I didn’t even know were possible.  What a joy to see them growing up as adults and building their lives… I am so proud of them!

But the more I have connected with God, learned through my struggles, discerned what really matters, and seen the brokenness of this world display itself before us, there is a mama bear rising up in me that is ready to roar! 

It is a roar from deep within me that cares so much to see my children ground their lives in the Truth of Who God is, and who He has created them to be.

I find myself praying for them with fervency and seeking God for how I can best encourage them. I know they have to discover these things on their own, and praise God they are… but now that I’m  55, the mama in me cares more than ever that they do.

Which really leans toward something else I care deeply about as well, my purpose… When I was 29, God clearly defined His purpose in me.  When that happened, I had recently experienced a personal awakening to God’s purpose for all of creation…  that we were to love Him, enjoy Him and serve Him forever.  Those were Truths I had heard before, but never really owned personally.    

But not long after taking ownership of them, God further defined my unique personal purpose too… making it clear that He was going to use my life to be a place of feeding on His Word for His people.  In a very clear  way, God spoke to me through Isaiah 65:10 that says,

There is much that could be said about that experience and Scripture…  I will save it for another time.  But for now, it reveals why I have spent the last 26 years sharing the Truths of God’s Word in vast and various ways for any who wanted to seek God and know Him more. It explains why I began and still lead Established Footsteps Ministry I know without a doubt that God called me to this purpose for my days on this earth.

And now that I’m 55, I am more committed to this purpose than ever before. I know many at my age are thinking about their upcoming years of retirement, but that is not where my heart is at all.  I believe it is in our later years that God wants to aim our lives at His purpose in us with the greatest of impact.  My heart is so burdened to share the glory of God’s Truth with this broken world and I’m dreaming with God about some pretty exciting ways to do that in the days ahead.

And because of those big dreams, I also really care about my health… In my younger years, I took my health for granted, but as little health concerns started to show up in my forties, I remember the moment that my care for my health began to wake up.  Again, Marvin was out in front of me on this one, being diligent to exercise and eat well... and as I watched his health thriving and saw mine struggling, I awoke to a realization that I needed to make some changes.

So over the last 10 years or so, I have… in fact, the changes have been huge.  In many ways I am healthier and more fit now than I was in my thirties.  I eat completely different, my body craves exercise, and I even became a Pilates Instructor.  And I don’t do any of those things because I have to, but because I really want to. 

I wish I had started all this sooner, but you can’t live backwards… so I am thankful I started when I did and I’m moving forward.  My body is not getting younger, but for the years I have in front of me, I care very deeply about doing my part to making my body as healthy and strong as it can be.

Now… are these 5 things the only things I care about?  Not at all… but I know you will only read for so long 😊 so I will let that be the end of my list for now. But, if you ever want to talk more, just know that I have much more to say. Now that I’m 55, I care so much about so many things!

It makes me think of a Psalm the Lord revealed to me back in my early thirties.  It was at a time when I realized my heart was actually pretty small. In this season I knew God was calling me to care more about many things, but the reality was, I just didn’t. And I didn’t know how to change. But then God showed me Psalm 119:32  which says, “I will run the way of Your commands for You will enlarge my heart.”

As I pondered this Truth all those years ago, God impressed this upon me… “Sharon you give attention to what my Word says, and you can trust Me to grow your heart to care more.” 

Looking back, I see now that is exactly what has  happened! I gave attention to what He said, and He enlarged my heart.  He is so faithful!

So now that I’m 55, bottom line, I care… I definitely care… in fact I care more now than I ever have before!

Here is to 55 and beyond…